Okay, it's late, but I'm just getting a moment...actually I hesitated. But I love risk-taking, so here it goes...stay with this story, and see what its worth to you.
If you recall last week, I did a Q&A and was like…tell me anything. Naturally, being a parenting page, I thought I was going to get stuff about parenting. However, I was pleasantly surprised when a mama reached out and basically shared that she had recently been involved in an entanglement. If you are wondering what that means, Google entanglement and Jada Pinket-Smith. Anyway, I was like, okay, sis it's the tea that I was not expecting but am so happy to receive. I love a good share, I am totally that friend that listens with no judgment and then tells you that I trust you and that you are doing your best and things will come to you as they are supposed to. I will also ask your permission/give a disclaimer before saying something that might make you uncomfortable but possibly necessary. Anyway, to get to the point…It was then that I knew that we needed "girl talk," and over 90% of you agreed on the poll that I shared.
You see, we are not only moms (and some dads); we are also whole ass people. We experience the full range of humanity, and if we do not see ourselves in each other, we are more likely not to SEE OURSELVES IN OURSELVES. What I mean by that is, being vulnerable is like being a guide. There will always be someone going through exactly what you are going through. If we are all hiding our truth from each other, then it's hard for us to see our experiences reflected in each other. Its harder to affirm our human experience.
You are not alone in anything. Did you cuss at your kid? Not alone. Did you cheat? Not alone. You cry in the car before coming home? Not alone! You have crippling anxiety and suicidal ideations? Not alone! You are living a lie that you cannot keep up with? Not alone. Are you homosexual in a heterosexual relationship? Not alone! You have a terrible relationship with your mother? Not alone. Are you struggling with your faith? Not alone. Are you hard on yourself? Not alone. My point is that the hardest thing that you are going through, you are not alone. Someone has undoubtedly felt just what you are feeling. Someone has been just where you are, and we need to start saying it aloud to each other without shame. Destroy shame!
We need to share these stories with each other as a way of opening up our power. You are incredibly powerful, and that power can be actualized in your transparency. You will be freed and transformed through your ability to bravely open your mouth. You will light a match that burns a path for someone else, and our children's children will become more free and aligned.
Anyway, I definitely got caught up in a rant. The mama that briefly and bravely shared that she had an entanglement wrote a beautiful post about it. Her humanity is felt so strongly. She writes, "There is nothing virtuous about being a long-suffering wife sitting at a table where love is not served. I'd like to be excused. No more shaking, this calls for an upending. I begin imagining and exploring a new table…." I think any married or partnered person can identify with this statement. Relationships can be HARD. They can be work. So, go on over and check out Raena Joy, @theworkingmomtras. See her truth and possibly your own. She is a powerful force, follow her!
Lastly, I am figuring out the best way to have intimate chats with you guys. I want to go deep. I want to share stories. I want to hold your secrets and honor your journey. I want to say whew chile, the tea is hot and exceptional! Tell me more! I want us to gather with a glass of wine or tea and listen to each other intently bare our souls. Then I want us to love each other better. So I am figuring this out, and I will get back to you after I figure out a plan.